I became a teacher to help children become the best versions of themselves.

I often hear the sentiment that education is a calling; that it is as if us teachers were programmed specifically at birth to become educators. I can’t officially say this is true, but I do know that many of us share certain personality traits. I discovered early on that I enjoyed taking care of and working with young children, and that I thrive in organized, structured environments with reliable routines. As a teenager, I gravitated towards jobs in childcare: babysitting, working as a camp counselor at local day camps, and working in the after school programs at my town’s YMCA. I enjoyed helping children discover who they are, what interests them, and perhaps most importantly, how to communicate with each other in healthy and productive ways. When I started thinking about life after high school, it became clear that pursuing a career in education was in fact my calling.

I started my undergraduate work at Syracuse University in the fall of 2010 as a student in the Inclusive Elementary and Special Education program. For four years, I unpacked the meaning of inclusion and worked to embody it in my student teaching. My understanding of the important role educators play in the lives of children continued to grow.

Upon graduation in 2014, I accepted my first job as a resident teacher at a charter school. I had so many questions swimming in my head. How do I help all children feel safe? How do I ensure each child’s multiple identities are welcomed in my classroom? How do I build a culturally relevant curriculum but also meet district demands? (Seven years later, these questions are still swimming, BTW!)

In that first year of teaching, I learned more than I thought possible. On top of gaining classroom management skills and finding my teacher voice, I also realized how many hats we actually wear on a daily basis, and how many skills need to be met at once. I remember supporting a group of young ELL students, thinking, “Do I actually know how to help them right now?”

That is when I knew my own personal learning was far from over. I returned to graduate school part time to become a reading specialist, hoping that feelings of self-doubt would be soothed by additional theorems, professors, articles, and practicum work.

In the past 7 years, I have worked as a resource room teacher, a third grade classroom teacher, and a reading specialist. Though I still have some moments when I go into full on panic mode, feeling totally awful about something I taught or the way I handled a situation, I have learned to relish in the little moments. Above all else, I remind myself that one of the best parts of being a teacher is that we are ALL learning. Sure, the schedule and routine is predictable, my days are structured, and I get to be as organized as I want, but the bottom line is that while I am striving to help children become the best versions of THEMselves, I can’t forget to also be the best version of ME. I may never fully shake that sinking feeling when a lesson totally flops, and those questions I had year 1 will forever be floating in my head, but I love that education allows me to continue to grow and learn alongside my students.

I hope that my blog serves as a reminder that we are all human, and that even though sometimes we win big and other times we strike out, every day is a chance to brush off the dirt and try again.